Venomous as a Snake by M.F. Adele

What’s worse than being a member of the notorious Snake Eyes gang?

Funny you should ask… I’ll tell you.

It’s being forcefully engaged to the boss’s delusional son.

Listen. In my experience, birds are insane… Those uncaged idiots manage to be both the predator and the prey at the same time. This one bird in particular doesn’t seem to comprehend that he’s not a snake.

But it’s okay. I’m armed and venomous.

While hunting for my lost mate, the aforementioned idiot keeps sending his minions to nab me… Until I finally stop hissing around and strike back.

New town. New house. New bodies to hide. You know the deal, right? I can’t bury them all beneath my bushes like an improper lady.

That’s where my problems begin.

They certainly don’t end when the roguish neighbors catch my scent from the other side of the privacy fence.

And they definitely get worse when Worms-for-Brains invites himself into my house while my territorial mates are here.

Now, I dream of holding the safety pin of a grenade between my fangs while it rains white feathers… while also being seduced into my happily-ever-after by several alluring snake charmers.

It’s totally achievable.